How to break deals and achieve value for money

Suwaley, we all want a discount-on-a-discount on items we are purchasing, however, sellers of several items, except for supermarkets or shops with fixed prices, Will tell you mbu the asking price is the last price and infact its the wholesale price... cheii. Wholesale namugani ...!!

Am going to give you cheat Tips on how to pay less for more. You have been exploited enough. This post does not apply to you rich fellas. These rich fellas, kyoka, when yo there bargaining for a cut from 25k to 15k they are like, "whurrt,  only 25k for the item?? No way nawe, you have to pay rent, buy more stock, eat lunch eh.. am going to quadruple, triple and even quintopolise the amount, so that's 285k yeah?? Let me just make it 300k."

And then they look at you the perplexed buyer, "sister"

You:  Sister!??? @$#&£¥₩€ *rolling eyes like duh* sister my in between the toes.

Them: Sister I think you give her like 300k you can even give her more if you have bambi ...

You: 

So loaded guys ....this isn't yo post. Thank you.

1. On Boda Boda: Say you work for an Indian.

One thing you didn't know is that every Boda guy has worked for an Indian. Either directly or through stories he has heard about Indians. Indian businessmen in Uganda are quite not loved. So don't be quick to bargain for the ride. It's also better if it's quite a long ride. If you are going to bugolobo for example, tell him you are going to Nice house of plastics. The Boda guy will immediately comment, "Banange abayindi Bantama!!  Te..te.. Ttebbassasula !!!!!" With so much emphasis. That's how you know you gat him.

Then he will ask if you work for Indians and your response will be yes. Talk about Indians and how they last paid you last year in August and other sad stories about working with them. When at your destination, remind him how you forgot to bargain for a ride because the mboozi was kuwomaring and insist you have only 3k.  He will gladly accept it for a ride that would otherwise cost 5k or more.

2. In Taxi: Sleep and miss your destination.

I think this one works best when you are female. There's a way favour always stalks women. So board that taxi that makes return trips to the set off point. If you stay in namugongo, and live in kyaliwajjala, take taxis that reach up to the end of namugongo and then head back to town.

Sleep in the taxi and make sure you bypass your destination. When you get to the final  taxi stop, wake up, act confused and scared and ask the conductor, "Sebbo Tuliwa?? " He will be so amused and jazz the driver and they will all laugh at you and just offer you a free ride to your actual destination as they go back because you will have made their day.

3: Bend over clothes

This one works for those park bend over stalls and owino especially those that dont have fixed prices or who never shout things like ," boxer bitano bitano". Just make sure you bend over and select about 6 clothes and if you are asked to pay a total of 20k, cry my brother!!

First give me your Walid

First ask for a discount and get up to 15k .Then start bargaining for 10k. Eventually he will say okay bring 12k and we close the deal.

If you are female, tell him you have a "Walid"  number. And if there's no spark in his eyes baby just pay the 12k.

Alternatively, pull out the 10k and insist it's all you have ...then check  your side pockets as if you don't know if there's any money and pull out a 200ugx. Give him the 10k and the 200ugx and tell him it's all you have.

Here, he will ask for your 'walid number'. If he doesn't ask, know that you would have been able to but those clothes at 5k had you bargained better. You have been cheated!

4. Disguise the use of the item

Now let's say you had gone to a boutique, but what you need are really short dresses, yeah, tell the boutique attendant that you are looking for dresses preferably that go below the knees and are more descent. (Assuming Dresses are 30k each and tops are 10k each ) Try on the clothes pick atleast one dress beneath the knees and others the short ones you really need.

When time to pay comes; tell her that unfortunately you can only find one descent dress and that the other dresses are rather too short, however, you might be willing to buy the short dresses as tops since you are not bold enough to wear short dresses. And she will see the sense in that, then she will say you can pay her 30k for the dress and maybe 50k for all the other 5 short  Dresses (that you actually needed but disguised as just tops). Instead of 180k, you are only spending 80k huh. Thank me later.

5: Medical consultation fee: Write all your clan members issues on a paper.

Man these consultation fees are something else. And sometimes there's no value for money. Like you pay your fees, speak to a doctor and tell her alllllllll your signs, symptoms, theories and taboos about your condition and then she comments, "unhuh so what's the problem."

You:  $%£^&(*&£^

 

So to achieve value for money, ask all your relatives for their problems, note them down and then pay the 20k, go consult the doctor and claim all those problems are yours and note down the doctors diagnoses and prescriptions so that you don't mix up things. Go back home and give a report to every clan member about their conditions.