Kids will lead you to your grave much sooner than you think.

I love spending time with kids. I do so even in my mind since physically; they are not easy to come by of late. They are locked up in high walled prison cells masquerading as their homes (or do I mean home masqueraded as prison cells - not sure).  They laugh so hard at things that are not funny and make you think you could easily be hired to perform with the U-turn comedians. You make a funny face, and one dumb kid literally dies of hilarity that she has to first lie on the floor against her back and digest all the laughter you just ignited in them.

They think you are a miracle worker. The good part about that is that they will believe what you say. When one hits her smallest toe against the wall, she will cry so hard while staring at you to do something; to heal them. All you need to do is touch the injured part and convince them that the pain is gone. Ask where it was that they hit their toe, then slap and spit on it. Allow them to do the same. There. You have performed your miracle. Whether the pain was real or imagined, it disappears instantly.

They think you are a magician. That’s the worst part. I regretted why I had played with them in the first place, solved all their mysteries, healed their pain and made them laugh. They assumed I could do anything. AND, I could not risk spoiling that image.

Now Ka Bernie was the first to start. 'Auntie, come catch faya.' He started calling out non-stop. Definitely the devil had managed to enter that one’s mind. The devil indeed has no shame. Of all things available in the area, it lured the little thing’s mind towards fire.

'

Auntie catch faya'

Ghandi, Stephan and Brielle now joined Bernie. 'Auntie yes, come catch faya, come catch faya.' They started singing and clapping, morale boosting me like I was competing on their Sports day at school. 'Auntie, catch faya, catch faya.'

I gawked at the ruthless charcoal stove that they had all surrounded, clapping their hands with ceaseless anticipation. Didn't kids actually listen to music? They should have known the song which goes, 'Don't play with fire; fire burns, fire burns'. Most dot.com kids know it. Were these ones rather too blonde?

Never the less, whenever am faced with tight situations as these, I think of where I come from to draw some strength from it. A Mukiga never gives up without giving something a try. My ancestors would never forgive me for weakness. The blondes were still clapping for Auntie to catch fire. Auntie caught fire indeed! I used a spoon to put a red hot charcoal piece on my hand and for four seconds alternated it in both hands. It burnt both my palms in the middle spots.

The silly kids ran away immediately to tell all neighbors, passersby, wondering dogs and any insects that cared to listen to them about how Auntie ‘catched’ fire. None of them caring that I was terribly hurt. Damn the ancestors who could not even come to my rescue yet I risked my life to save their reputation.

The person in me who had healed the kids of all pain accruing from injuries had disappeared a long time ago. I could not perform any miracle for myself. As I type, am only grateful that my fingertips survived to tell this story. Watch out while with kids.