tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64899524903268884662024-03-12T18:21:05.254-07:00The Detour:There's always another way out.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-60740007493262497662017-09-04T01:43:00.000-07:002017-09-04T01:43:25.393-07:00How to position yourself for a better job<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The moment I typed this title, I yawned!!</div>
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That's how tideous it is searching for a Job in this economy. Unless you are from a well connected family or are good at barter exchange.</div>
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You see, kids from well connected families inherit jobs at birth only that they get to find out what job they inherited the moment they receive it. You are prolly cursing that you can't be born again but you have the opportunity to change history my friend. Marry right..! You have experienced this tough economy, don't subject your kids to the same. Get a loan and marry relatives of the likes of Bitature, Mbidde etc</div>
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Anyhow here I share what I did in search for a Job. Oh, by the way I have a Job these days, it's a great job and has everything you can Imagine for example; </div>
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1. It's great, </div>
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2. Its a job, </div>
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3. Its imaginable etc. </div>
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(Dear boss in case you read this, please increase <i>sala</i> <i>er</i>....just did <i>aka </i>advert)</div>
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1. Knowing my target</div>
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In every endeavor it's good to know your target and how to identify them in the first place. So every time I saw a well groomed gentleman or lady, I got interested. My homework was to know more about them</div>
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2. Approach your target</div>
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Once I knew what their interests were, I made sure to always say hi whenever we crossed paths</div>
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3. Perform</div>
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So I knew the time one of my targets left office to his car and I would run and wipe the exterior of his car and he would find it shimmering <i>mawe</i>! He was always pleased.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="about:invalid#zClosurez" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Image result for shining shoes" border="0" height="133" 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" 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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shinning their shoes</td></tr>
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The other targets were friends to my boss; right from the ministries, to state house to international NGO's. I knew I couldn't go wrong. I bought shoe shiner. As they would approach the office door, I would run and pass a brush against their shoes and they always gave me weird looks. Then I would serve them coffee, water, rough paper, show them where the restrooms are and whatever they needed.</div>
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You see there's so much you have to do yo be noticed by potential employers. Its all hard work, sacrifice and humility my broda because for example a Mukiga babe to do all that really. You also feel the pain.</div>
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But guess what.. ..after all these moves....Am sure you are asking yourself; so what job did she get; where; how much does she earn now, does this really work?</div>
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Brethrens!!</div>
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The answer is NO!!! </div>
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None of this works. My efforts never paid off. It is all just a waste of time. There's no way you are going to get a job in this economy. If you have a job you love and pays well, you are not lucky my Friend, you are very divine.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-88506358449521036682017-09-04T01:35:00.000-07:002017-09-04T01:35:08.644-07:00How to break deals and achieve value for money<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Suwaley, we all want a discount-on-a-discount on items we are purchasing, however, sellers of several items, except for supermarkets or shops with fixed prices, Will tell you mbu the asking price is the last price and infact its the wholesale price... cheii. Wholesale <i>namugani</i> ...!!</div>
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Am going to give you cheat Tips on how to pay less for more. You have been exploited enough. This post does not apply to you rich fellas. These rich fellas, <i>kyoka</i>, when yo there bargaining for a cut from 25k to 15k they are like, "whurrt, only 25k for the item?? No way nawe, you have to pay rent, buy more stock, eat lunch <i>eh</i>.. am going to quadruple, triple and even <i>quintopolise</i> the amount, so that's 285k yeah?? Let me just make it 300k."</div>
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And then they look at you the perplexed buyer, "sister" </div>
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You: Sister!??? @$#&£¥₩€ *<i>rolling eyes like duh* sister my in between the toes.</i></div>
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Them: Sister I think you give her like 300k you can even give her more if you have bambi ...</div>
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You: </div>
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So loaded guys ....this isn't yo post. Thank you.</div>
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1. On Boda <u>Boda</u>: Say you work for an Indian.</div>
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One thing you didn't know is that every Boda guy has worked for an Indian. Either directly or through stories he has heard about Indians. Indian businessmen in Uganda are quite not loved. So don't be quick to bargain for the ride. It's also better if it's quite a long ride. If you are going to bugolobo for example, tell him you are going to Nice house of plastics. The Boda guy will immediately comment, "<i>Banange abayindi Bantama!! Te..te.. Ttebbassasula</i> !!!!!" With so much emphasis. That's how you know you gat him.</div>
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Then he will ask if you work for Indians and your response will be yes. Talk about Indians and how they last paid you last year in August and other sad stories about working with them. When at your destination, remind him how you forgot to bargain for a ride because the <i>mboozi</i> was <i>kuwomaring</i> and insist you have only 3k. He will gladly accept it for a ride that would otherwise cost 5k or more.</div>
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2. In Taxi: Sleep and miss your destination.</div>
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I think this one works best when you are female. There's a way favour always stalks women. So board that taxi that makes return trips to the set off point. If you stay in namugongo, and live in kyaliwajjala, take taxis that reach up to the end of namugongo and then head back to town.</div>
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Sleep in the taxi and make sure you bypass your destination. When you get to the final taxi stop, wake up, act confused and scared and ask the conductor, "<i>Sebbo Tuliwa??</i> " He will be so amused and jazz the driver and they will all laugh at you and just offer you a free ride to your actual destination as they go back because you will have made their day.</div>
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3: Bend over clothes</div>
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This one works for those park bend over stalls and owino especially those that dont have fixed prices or who never shout things like ," <i>boxer bitano bitano</i>". Just make sure you bend over and select about 6 clothes and if you are asked to pay a total of 20k, cry my brother!!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="about:invalid#zClosurez" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Image result for man asking woman for phone number" border="0" 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" 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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First give me your Walid</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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First ask for a discount and get up to 15k .Then start bargaining for 10k. Eventually he will say okay bring 12k and we close the deal. </div>
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If you are female, tell him you have a "Walid" number. And if there's no spark in his eyes baby just pay the 12k. </div>
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Alternatively, pull out the 10k and insist it's all you have ...then check your side pockets as if you don't know if there's any money and pull out a 200ugx. Give him the 10k and the 200ugx and tell him it's all you have. </div>
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Here, he will ask for your 'walid number'. If he doesn't ask, know that you would have been able to but those clothes at 5k had you bargained better. You have been cheated! </div>
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</div>
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4. Disguise the use of the item</div>
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Now let's say you had gone to a boutique, but what you need are really short dresses, yeah, tell the boutique attendant that you are looking for dresses preferably that go below the knees and are more descent. (Assuming Dresses are 30k each and tops are 10k each ) Try on the clothes pick atleast one dress beneath the knees and others the short ones you really need.</div>
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When time to pay comes; tell her that unfortunately you can only find one descent dress and that the other dresses are rather too short, however, you might be willing to buy the short dresses as tops since you are not bold enough to wear short dresses. And she will see the sense in that, then she will say you can pay her 30k for the dress and maybe 50k for all the other 5 short Dresses (that you actually needed but disguised as just tops). Instead of 180k, you are only spending 80k huh. Thank me later.</div>
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5: Medical consultation fee: Write all your clan members issues on a paper.</div>
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Man these consultation fees are something else. And sometimes there's no value for money. Like you pay your fees, speak to a doctor and tell her alllllllll your signs, symptoms, theories and taboos about your condition and then she comments, "unhuh so what's the problem."</div>
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You: $%£^&(*&£^</div>
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So to achieve value for money, ask all your relatives for their problems, note them down and then pay the 20k, go consult the doctor and claim all those problems are yours and note down the doctors diagnoses and prescriptions so that you don't mix up things. Go back home and give a report to every clan member about their conditions. </div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-36624168197604428792017-09-04T01:27:00.000-07:002017-09-04T01:27:02.211-07:00Too much self confidence is bad<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
Eh e<u>h</u> but getting a job is tough anyway. Recently I was going through my old sent items but what I found was alarming. The only thing I ever used my emails for was applying for jobs. And right there I could see about 1000 sent items. And then I blinked one eye hoping the numbers would also shy away and reduce but <i>hafazali</i>. </div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
It should also be noted that I have four (4) e-mail addresses. The first two had kiddish names so I figured - really, as a psychology graduate- that the indisputable reason I wasn't getting any feedback was because my email addresses were playful. I went ahead and created two other new mails that incorporated both my real names and seemed more mature. And then I started using those to apply and believe me <i>priz</i>.</div>
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</div>
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I never got that call. E-mail names had nothing to do with it.</div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
Well....</div>
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Until last month</div>
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
So anyhow last month, like karma would have it, there were like three top companies flooding to hire me for my services. And guess what! I went for interviews, slaying like those hot mama's who post their slay selfies on Mama Tendo ...and I mean the slay ones not the wannabe slayers that make you feel guilty for your data you even start apologizing to it..</div>
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It felt like a conspiracy how 3 companies can all want you at once yet you had applied several times to their organisations and no reply ever. </div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
But the feeling was priceless. I even quit my job. And then filled with feelings of revenge for all the years I have suffered, I turned down all the offers. </div>
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YAP</div>
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I said, "Nah; double the salary and I might be interested. Call me"</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/KPbTdYdNPrhFqxnw7GyGokSFyrWYl32Cf635gRY-BuqI5O81Tud-UVMEl3FIdrdFjnh3=s99" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/KPbTdYdNPrhFqxnw7GyGokSFyrWYl32Cf635gRY-BuqI5O81Tud-UVMEl3FIdrdFjnh3=s99" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I Can Take on all the World</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
Guys, when you reach at this level of confidence, you feel like you can take on the whole world. </div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Abange</i>, up to now am still waiting for the call and it's dawned on me that it's never coming.</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
.....as if death do me and unemployment apart! </div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
As I type this on my phone, I am facing the mirror and acting out how am going to go back to my former workplace tomorrow and cry for my job and even plead for them to cut <i>sala </i>by <i>ka </i>50k just to have me back.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-82175116070025362872015-08-14T09:35:00.001-07:002015-08-14T09:46:56.868-07:00How to get by with your new lecturing Job (For those who are lecturing for survival)<p dir="ltr"><br>
One of the main traits of being a good lecturer is having the confidence, good academic papers, several other things, and the ability to make students pass. Usually, when you are a lecturer, students assume that you know way too much than they could ever understand.  This is true for some but for most not really. Some people take on lecturing jobs just to survive this harsh economy.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now I am going to give you some tips on how to get by in this profession (for those that are just lecturing for survival) . These are a collection of teaching methods that I have been witness to. And if you are lucky to have several students like me; you will earn the title,  'Best Lecturer For Life (BLFL).' </p>
<p dir="ltr">1. Choose your university carefully.  I can not speak for many universities, but the best one for you because I have been there is Makerere University Kampala. This one comes with the prestige of being among the top 10 universities in Africa so that's already a bragging point when you are introducing yourself as a lecturer. Also it has high cut off points so definately this implies most of the students catch on really fast during class sessions. You don't have to stress so much. </p>
<p dir="ltr">2. Surely, you are a novice without passion in this profession. Where you do not understand what you are teaching, assure your students that the topic is self explanatory and move on. </p>
<p dir="ltr">3. Encourage students to ask questions and then give them those questions as their coursework or even start up a debate and encourage students to give opinions to the questions that have been asked. Then move out and reply your WhatsApp chats also don't forget to update your Facebook status, take a selfie for instagram then move on to the coffee shop. Come back to close the lecture.</p>
<p dir="ltr">4. Why even go to class in the first place?<br>
All you need is to show up at your office, sign in the attendance book, knock shoulders with fellow lecturers but don't be rough, your shoulder bones could get hurt! Share some gossip and laugh with them (that is you creating evidence), mention that you have a class to attend and be a no show until the next day. You prolly have friends meeting for coffee at that time, join them already.</p>
<p dir="ltr">5. Okay bambi you may kinda feel guilty about not going to class for a whole semester. How heartless can you be? So then, go to class in the third week since the semester commenced, with copies of the course outline and distribute them to all students.  Even if you don't ever appear in class, at least the students will always remember how generous you were as to use your own resources to get them copies of the outline, many lecturers don't to that, instead they will always complain to the class how they earn peanuts blah blah.  <br>
Wamma go ahead and discuss the course outline then tell them the date of the test.</p>
<p dir="ltr">6. Since you want to be even nicer than the lecturers who do number five exactly the way it is, at least you have a good heart and can compile several handouts in line with the course outline, bind them into a pamphlet and leave it a Juma's photocopier (whom you made a deal with to give you 25% of every pamphlet bought).</p>
<p dir="ltr">7. Do not forget to always check in at office, remember those logs will give you away. </p>
<p dir="ltr">8. A good lecturer is judged by the students results at the end of the semester. So to make sure that your students perform well, print for them guiding questions to give them an idea of how questions are set. Assure them that these are only guiding questions and that the exam will be totally different so that they can expand their reading areas. This is where you encourage them to use the insitution library or employ technology in search for the appropriate approaches to the questions. Be assistive as to suggest Google search, LinkedIn, academia.edu, instagram or any other academia sites that can be helpful.</p>
<p dir="ltr">9. Set the exact guiding questions for both the test and exam. Shock them! </p>
<p dir="ltr">10. Marking can't be all that hard now can it? If you have been an absentee like this, the least you can do is mark the damn exam scripts. </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5cGviUv-4nK9hMOIPta3UeeNbeCupjeq91KIjHqi6DnOl0Jru4JerLmYdAZshqmC2GysuGqKPewCIu9KQfqf6rSH2PV077zflRvyVrs4T_FCj1vXGhKSzMi3NvP6g-23VjnMCQ76JV60/s1600/Screenshot_2015-08-14-19-39-58.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5cGviUv-4nK9hMOIPta3UeeNbeCupjeq91KIjHqi6DnOl0Jru4JerLmYdAZshqmC2GysuGqKPewCIu9KQfqf6rSH2PV077zflRvyVrs4T_FCj1vXGhKSzMi3NvP6g-23VjnMCQ76JV60/s640/Screenshot_2015-08-14-19-39-58.png"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-47668166597188735172015-08-13T06:17:00.000-07:002015-08-13T06:17:06.844-07:00What it's like dating a Mukiga man/<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
See,
since time immemorial, across the globe, ladies have always dreamed of dating a
romantic man. Of course romanticism varies and most girls will have a list of
what denotes this romanticism. But right now focusing on Bakiga men, the
concern will be on verbal romanticism. Bakiga inhibit their emotions so much
and since they have high self esteem they assume that everything is obvious. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
First
of all. You will never hear a Mukiga man asking you to date him or be his girlfriend.
The closest to that he will say is that he likes you. That's the first and last
romantic thing you will ever hear. And needless to say, they can be really
charming so you will find yourself spending more time with him and months go by
without you having an idea whether you are his girlfriend or not. For him, in
his mind, you are his and he assumes you know it. He will not feed you with any
'nonsensical' things you might want to hear <i>simanyi </i>'I will love you till lake Bunyonyi dries' or 'our live will be as strong as that between Bakiga and
irish'. It won't happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.redstaplerchronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/guy%20proposing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.redstaplerchronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/guy%20proposing.jpg" height="187" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That..... never going to happen</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
However,
there is still hope that you will know whether you are his girlfriend or not;
when he introduces you to his friends. You will even be in shock! For someone
who has never mentioned or referred to you as his girlfriend, he will say it to
his friends when he's asked to introduce you to them. So from this moment on;
you can go ahead and refer to him as your boyfriend too. Mufittinga! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Secondly, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>if you are watching too many
movies or you tube videos of how other guys have proposed to their girlfriends,
you in for another shock. A Mukiga man will never say the words "Will you
marry me." Let alone get on his knees.... how? This is how Bakiga men
propose. Therefore you should be prepared if you are dating one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
1.)
He will ask you "konka shi why don't you marry me?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will sound like he already asked you to
marry him and your response was negative thus he wants to know why why why on
earth you cannot marry him. Okay now what's the correct response to "<i>Konka
shi</i> why don't you marry me?" <i>Riyalle</i>!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Obviously
you can not shout "yes yes yes, I will marry you" as you had practiced
during your fantasies. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: distribute-all-lines;">
2)
If you are lucky that he proposes to you with a ring, he will place it on the
floor, table or even misplace it. Then he will be like, "<i>Haza </i>look for the
ring <i>oba </i>in my pockets <i>oba </i>it fell under the bed... don't you know you are
going to be my wife." </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: distribute-all-lines;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
3)
Remember how you got to know you are his girlfriend when he introduced you to
his friends? That's the same way you will know when he proposes. He will
introduce you to his friends as his</div>
wife. He is the one who calls the shots, in fact, he even controls your feelings for him because it's all in his head.
What he thinks about your feelings matters more than anything you could ever
say.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
On
the bright side, where as they are not romantic, and are poor at expressing
emotion, their love is real and mostly expressed in their actions. For example,
you will never lack irish in your home, in your life! That is love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Oh
and I should also mention that a Mukiga man doesn't care to hear you say you
love him. He already thinks it and doesn't need any assurances ....it is only
default. And he will see no need of telling you he loves you. So if you hoped
your husband would say the three little words to you everyday or even
compliment you, move away from southwestern and venture into central, northern
or overseas, lakes, rivers and mountains.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Don't
say I didn't tell you. Don't be slow when your Mukiga man proposes the best way
he can. Ok bye.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-37956091988694942432015-02-07T00:08:00.000-08:002015-02-07T00:08:02.114-08:00Of Valentine's day... fantasies and frustrations.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So the last time I blogged it was after valentines day! And I did not want my come back post to be about valentines.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In fact, even me I said, 'eh, wabula this year I won't write about valentines day'. What's there to write about anyway??? Regardless, you know how you can be not wanting to do something but then the environment pushes you to do so? Everywhere the talk is valentines day and blah blah.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But, I envy entrepreneurs! They are the ones who are gonna make dimes this V-day. For examplè, there is this thing of Speaking Roses am seeing all over Facebook. Who ever thought roses could speak? I really donno if they speak English or Rukiga but if you really love someone and fear to tell them or you have a crush on someone, just tell the roses what to say and they will speak for you. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwlsbe-jmLlTPfQ1GqZMxOq3X06R2IVOC-rg40AxYhXouN5nhHxZQSJsS_kYZlXjd8oEEP_EKpQ2XIMyQ9oJwFnyI9Z5cs8dcNjBlh2nBz6JiWO63MBU4R5bO0ZvJQdIFWMRXImZkE3EE/s1600/P1010060_full.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwlsbe-jmLlTPfQ1GqZMxOq3X06R2IVOC-rg40AxYhXouN5nhHxZQSJsS_kYZlXjd8oEEP_EKpQ2XIMyQ9oJwFnyI9Z5cs8dcNjBlh2nBz6JiWO63MBU4R5bO0ZvJQdIFWMRXImZkE3EE/s1600/P1010060_full.jpeg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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So me I bought my self one speaking rose which I intend to give to myself and I brag on you bambi who will get nuthing on V-day. I bought it much earlier bacause sometimes I have no one to talk to and thought it would be nice having one to talk to me till late. But now the one I bought was big headed. </div>
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So I fixed it in my bag and got into the taxi ...then it started speaking mbu, 'haza me am not breathing.'</div>
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Kyo! I opened the zip alittle and it kept quiet. I thought it was over. I got home, placed it in a jar and when time lapsed I slid into my bed. Maama , awo wasn't it saying mbu simanyi it's too cold and it also needs some warmth!! </div>
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I just ignored it. Then it started singing some song of Vince Gill's! The one about lonely-ish that goes like "...nanana naaana nana nana...." You also know it?</div>
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But now imagine it was a walking rose? This thing would have taken over my bed, having me sleeping on the floor. </div>
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But let us hope after you have delivered that rose to your Vale-y and you have gone back home they won't atte speak irrele stuff and ruin your relationship. </div>
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Life is so unfair though. So I find this app on Facebook, 'Who is your valentine'. I all click on it smiles and anxious to know who my Vale-y is. Then boom..... there goes..... even the app jams to hook me a valentine. An app .....mere app! I told my self this wasn't right. Prolly technical issues, or low battery on phone, poor Internet connection, something had to be responsible. Then I did it again, sure that this time my Vale-y would show. But we'll, there was no change. </div>
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Wareva! What the heck...its not like I even wanted one.</div>
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But ok this is a list of things I feel like this valentines 2015. Don't worry or get envious of my life, I always make the list and nothing falls in place. </div>
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1. Those speaking roses. </div>
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2. Picnic at the beach. Is there any beach that I can have all by myself? Crowds bore me to death. You can notice different types of excitement amongst people that just don't make sense at all. This is when my philosopher friend Tshaba says, 'you are just paranoid'. It's his 2015 favourite quote. </div>
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3. Cake. Anti there is this chic giving discounts on cake to her loyal customers like me. So if you want discounted cake..... just go through me.</div>
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4. Wine. A bottle of Lambrusco. Oba it tastes how ?</div>
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5. Eh if this list goes on it will only be about food which might set me off as a glutton.</div>
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Hati bambi enjoy your vals day. Ok ba-bye </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-49440758126441990372014-02-15T23:33:00.000-08:002014-02-15T23:33:11.222-08:00My Valentine’s Week in Detail<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Last two years, really,
my calendar ran like 12, 13, 13½, 15, 16 etc. But this year is a year of
change. A year of casting all my fears away and facing to whatever comes my
way. Fear has made me give up on promising opportunities (which I do not
necessarily regret) but still wonder what season two would have been like.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">So this year, I decide to
retain the14th on my calendar. Nevertheless, the week starting 10th is already
being alot to handle. We all know people start coming up with funny alibis for the
14th Feb as soon as the new-year sets in. Smart people always plan ahead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">February 10th: Monday<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">This is how the conversation
goes with Ongom;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: So when can I see you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: When you have time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: Uhm Wednesday oor... oooor or Unnh... Friday?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> Nonononoonononononono, not Friday. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> Friday No No. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> Maybe Saturday?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">At that moment I know am
single again. Acknowledging facts is the first step in healing. I resolve to
just listen to music and keep sipping some milk through an Amarura bottle until
dusk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">11th: Tuesday <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Never Date (hope to) anyone
in the opposition. Even for friendship, just don't. They take it too seriously
and end up opposing every important or irrelevant thing. He is called Martin but
he prefers </span><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Mantini</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> that's if you are to be in his good books. </span><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Mantini</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> because it makes it easier to identify with the locals, chaotic
crowds, <i>katemba</i> supporters, and them viceversa.
</span><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Mantini</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a grass roots name, really; a bottom-up name. The people feel
him, he feels them, when his name is pronounced that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Mantini is going to be
sulking all week. So he says. Because the NRM have nominated YKM to represent
them in the 2016 elections. He says,
" it is ridiculous for M7 to even blush to this fact. It is erroneous,
rotten, dextrosinistral, despicable. cantankerous, embellishing, thwarting, manovelent, egrarious, abhorrent, hideous,
extraditious. He says these terms to me. Some, I find strange. He says them as
if they were coming from his hands and limbs. As their movement keeps rhyming
with the sound. He repeats the same
terms, in the same order, to his grassroots friends when they arrive at his
apartment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He says he has lost the mood
for the whole week. That his political will is so damn low. He has declared the
weeks mourning. That he will fast all kinds of sweetbies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Everything I like. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Cake. Chicken. Pizza. Icecream. Lavishing money. Shopping. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It is a time of mourning. He
says we shall only eat of bitter herbs that they will help numb his frustration.
I think of Mato Oput even though I have only read about it. I think of the Aloe
vera plant in his compound and I wish to brush my teeth with chocolate at the
thought of its bitter everlasting taste on my tongue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I just know he is opposing
me in his own style. He is opposition, after all. Of course, he knows valentine’s
day is coming up soon. But he says it's too bad this week collided with M7's
nomination.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">12<sup>th</sup>:
Thursday<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">A message pops up from
Gutzy. His real name is Oguti Zakayo. Kudos to me of course, I coined the Gutzy
name. However, most of his female friends pronounce and spell it like they were
the masterminds behind it. That is arrogant of them. Their texts flow like,
'hey Gùhtzyë (read Gatzai), worrup?'
Then the neo-modernists, the teenagers, type and read as Gh'zye and G'zai
respectively. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It's really alarming, these
teenagers. And I know he hates it. Because where as the girls make it sound
romantic, the 'brotherhood' (as his friends dubbed themselves) associate the
modernist pronunciation with the school, Gayaza aka Gyza. They tease him, they blackmail
him, they torment him; make his life miserable. He avoids them at all costs. He
likes me because I pronounce his name as 'Gootzee'. Because the Goot
reveberates with the 'Gut' in his name, Oguti. The sound identifies with his
real name. He likes it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: hey bebey?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me. HEY, HOW ARE YOU DUDEY?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him. Am okay. So ki ekiliwo?
what's going sideways? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: NURRAP. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: Naye why did you chill
your WhatsApp bebey? Okimanyi 100shs per texts is not that funny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: I KNOW RIGHT. BUT
HOPEFULLY I WILL BE BACK SOON.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him. Fine then. Oba have a
nice day bebey. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me. YOU TOO GUTZY AND BTW
FRIDAY IS VAL'S DAYYYYY. YOU BELLER BRING
IT ON. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Gutzy all of a sudden is
splitting with fire. I have never known this temper of his. He says I'm
despising him, insulting him, insensitive, relegating him, selfish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I couldn't understand where
all this was coming from. I had to ask.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: How dare you address me
in caps? You think I don't know where to
find them. Do I look blind that I can't read lower case sentences? Am I an
idiot? Did you really have to insinuate that am slow? For you when you look at
me, I look like those Bahima friends of yours? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me. Ooh so is this about the
caps?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him. Just can't stand you
rightnow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Recounting events from
previous days, I conclude that the thought of Valentine’s day is really a turn
off to many guys. Has Dudey just noticed
the caps ever since the conversation started? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">13<sup>th</sup>: Thursday<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I encourage my friends to
break up. Indirectly. By doing nothing about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Susan Hue and her Nigerian
boyfriend Emeka JohnBosco. (While you thought JohnBosco was a Ugandan name).
These two have been on logger heads for the last six months. I don't even know
why they trust me with their issues. Kash says I have lugambo. But in your own
opinion, do I have lugambo? I mean, if I had it, I would probably have told you
all the issues this couple has entrusted me with. Fine, maybe it’s because I
don't even recall them because when Hue starts to talk, there's a blockage in
my ears. I just nod my head masquerading that I gerrit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">JB called me earlier on. He
is currently in his village. That he went to cool his head and will only board
the next flight to Uganda if Namukasa (so called Susan Hue) agrees to settle
things with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He swears: if 'Ife mi' no
call or no text me tamorrow. Nawaw! Chineke be mai witness naao. Chineke be
m..... I go no step back on Uganda landoh, you de hear me, Usom? You de hi mi? Am
almost sure he is pulling his ears as he says this. By the way usom means ‘my
sweetie’, and Ife mi -my love. You didn't know, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I call Hue. Before I even
say hi, she is already on the second line of her ranting about her relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Her: .....so you babe this
nigerian man am giving him up to tomorrow. If he doesn’t settle things by then.
We are done. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: I support you all the
way my dear. Anything you say! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I can only imagine what will
happen tomorrow. You see I can be trusted. I didn't report one to another. Both
parties can confide in me. If you are having relationship issues and you want
someone you can trust. Don't hesitate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">14th D-day<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Okay, I know this is gonna
sound oba how... but yeah. So no one has
invited me for a date. All my male
friends are nowhere to be seen. So I start counting the coins in my piggybank
and there is 32,050ugx. Wow! Am amazed. So finally am gonna buy myself cake and
have the best day with my big love. The plan is, after I buy it, I sneak into
the house without my sister and brother noticing. Their sweet teeth are rather
too sweet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I can't buy a full cake now.
The lady has told me the cheapest is 50,000ugx. Of which buying that means
walking back home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I head to HoatLoaf Jinja
road with the intention of getting myself 6 pieces of cake each at 5k.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">While still in the taxi, I
check my facebook inbox and there is this local guy offering me lunch. He says
he is at shoprite lugogo. <i>Eeeyi</i>, I
had just reached the Nakawa taxi park. Later, I drop out of the taxi and join
him. Oh, I referred to him as local because he spells my name as Groria even
when the correct spelling is right on his screen. His grammar is also very
terrible. Unforgivable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">So I meet the dude. You know
those people who make you keep scanning around to see whether anyone you know might
notice you with them? That's Chan. By the way why does he call himself Chan?
SMH<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: Hey, (I refuse to say
that name.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: Eh you come? Sot it was
for jox jox.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: mmmmstchw. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: enehaw, for me has just
pay waiter, almost gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: calls the waiter. Uhm,
chicken Burger and one piece of chicken<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: eh, he nodes his head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me : atte what?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Him: lemi fas go for a
sotiko <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: You better be coming
back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When he had just walked out,
that's when it dawned on me he was never coming back. I started wondering how I
was going to tell the waiter to remove the piece of chicken or probably the burger
instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He brings the food and even
my appetite has also hidden. I ask him to pack it for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He brings the food together
with an S2 he had been given to charge telling me it’s for my so called friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: er waiter, keep that
phone safe. He is coming back to pay and then he gets it. But if he doesn’t
come, you can buy it at the price of this bill. Give it to a girlfriend maybe?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">HIM: oooh<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">He says with the most
perfect smile as if envisioning his girl’s smile when he hands it to her later
on in the day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">That S2 was totally clouding
his mind. I felt it was a chance to exploit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Me: Actually, pack for me
other 7 pieces of chicken, only thighs, and ofwono of coke and Fanta.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">If the waiter is going to
rip so much off that phone, in this case long lasting 'love', I decide I should
also have some memories of that day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">My takeaway arrives. Much as
I won't bother with cake, I'm glad I really showed Chan what 'jox jox' can
tantamount to. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Like you all, I wish I would
know what will happen in season two.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Will Chan return to the
restaurant for his phone?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Will he find when the waiter
has already given it away? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Will he post on my wall
embarrassing me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-985594181288939372014-02-02T04:51:00.001-08:002014-02-02T04:51:15.686-08:00I have to cry on my Wedding Day! Whatever it takes…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Exaggerated excitement is
a thing of the west! We Africans don't really need to shed tears to show that
we are surprised or to express other emotions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Alright, that's like an
excuse I always give. We have imported so many western values and norms yet we become
defensive towards those that may require a natural occurrence, effort or stem
from regular practice (for which we haven’t had the chance) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wrote a story about how
am a Mukiga, and should for that reason be excused if easy quot;&quot expression
of surprise didn't occur to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nevertheless, I recently
got a vision. Of my wedding day. I didn't see myself cry at any point! WHAT! Who does that? Every dot.com girl is supposed
to cry on her wedding day. That's totally by the book.(Not sure which one)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'm so blessed I had that
vision because now I can alter it and one of the four plans am going to lay out
below are going to have to work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If something doesn’t
naturally occur to you, impose it on yourself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Plan A<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Remember something sad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But, who wants to
remember something sad on their special days? Okay maybe we can have a TV
watching session, some Telenovela, a really emotional scene. It could help me boot
start the tears, then maybe I will recall other emotional scenes I have watched
before and start wailing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Plan B<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Chapa Mbalasi<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In this one, my husband
will have to be my accomplice. Actually, the whole bridal team. This is my
special day and they all have to be supportive so that the ointment scent doesn’t
come as a surprise. This plan excludes the flower girl and Peg boy from the team.
Kids can't be trusted. In a brisk of a moment, she will be on the microphone
reporting how Auntie Gulo has put chapa mbalazi in her eyes to create tears,
and then she giggles innocently, not knowing the damage she has done towards my
reputation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In case the two plans
don't work, plan C will be just perfect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">An Emotional Speech from
my maid of honor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">First, she should be so
emotional. In that after her first word, the whole audience will be in crying
mood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will write her speech,
of course, to be on the safe side. She has to cry as soon as she gets the
microphone. At first we will think she is afraid of technology. Then she will
put across a disclaimer that she is not always so emotional, so that we can
empathize with her this time. Me I will already be crying and I will ask for
cake to help me calm down even though cutting time hasn't reached. Cake does
really calm me down, anytime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She will go ahead and
talk about how miraculously we met, on the street, and she knew we would be
best friends for life. How she accidentally stepped on my shoe, leading to a
torn strap, I could hardly move my leg with it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And then she had looked
at me so worried for her life, the mukiga in me appearing through my frown with
a clenched fist ready to punch her unconscious awake. She had started pleading
and offering me her <i>nigina</i> aka <i>bona</i> <i>bambale</i>
shoes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">How suddenly, I hugged
her tight, shed one too many tears and thanked her for spoiling my shoe as it had
never really seen that happened to me on the street. How she had cried with me
and pretended to be happy saying she had also never spoiled someone’s shoe on
the street. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">How I had asked her to be
my maid of honor on my wedding that was two weeks away because of the instant priceless
mutual emotional attachment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">By the way even when
something isn’t really emotional as such, provided it’s said over a microphone
and the speaker is crying, everyone will be touched. Thus, by the time she is
done with the emotional speech, the MC will be telling everyone to feel free to
use the dry cleaning services freely available as priory budgeted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In conclusion thus far, what
come may come! I have to cry on my wedding day if that's what it takes to
convince myself that I was surprised I got married!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-85225766566396865642014-01-30T03:08:00.000-08:002014-01-30T03:08:06.072-08:00On family dynamics... <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Fine, in every family there is that one thing you will find unique. Of course, unique can be weird or desirable. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Forexample, most people refer to their parents as Baba, Papa, Taata, and the dotcom adult-kids like me, Daddy, and Pappy or Monkey and other petnames (for dotcomcom kids).</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;"><div class="_1x1" style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 15px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br />But the irony (yes, irony, whether the word is applicable or not - it just sounds cute) was when I<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"> heard my neighbor referring to his brother as 'sibling'. He was yelling, 'gwe sibling, engato zange waziteka wa?'<br /><br />I was really intrigued at first hearing. But then brushed It off basing on the fact that it has been evident Ugandans are obsessed with trending sophisticated words that they will end up baptising their children with those words as their names eg Vuvuzela, Olympics, Eclipse, Extradite, LGTBI, POMB, Viber etc. If you go to Kabale, and you hear someone talk about Eclipse, don't be quick to applaud their knowledge diversity. Usually, they are backbiting a 'kalomate' with that name.<br /><br />So, I went by my neighbors' to ask for salt so that I could be able to pry into their family 'name-referring-to' politics. You know, previously, they had come begging for hot charcoal saying they didn't have a matchbox,( I think they were just lazy, you know people and wanting ebiwedde) it's often fairer when one good turn yields another anyway.<br /><br />I met Taata Loza at the door step, chewing sugarcane and dropping the residues carelessly. Loza is the kind of kid you might want to avoid when you are eating some terrific food. She must have been asleep though.<br />Taata Loza and I exchanged greetings and then I told him I had come to beg for a panga. I abandoned the salt, what if the man threw tantrums at me for begging mere salt that was 500shs from the shop opposite his house? This would ruin the future bilateral relations between our familes so I couldn't go through with it.<br /><br />But appallingly, he was so happy I asked. He even said I could borrow a certain metal used to sharpen knives, the sink pump, the toaster they had newly acquired and so much more. I didn't object to his suggestion in as much as I didn't really need to borrow anything in the first place. I said I wd come for the rest eventually.<br /><br />He called out for Maama Loza.<br /><br />'Wife, wife, waifuuuu... oba kati omukyala azunze wa?'<br /><br />'Wangiiii husband?' She yelled back.<br /><br />This time I was intrigued to the brim that I couldn't hold my mandibles together.<br /><br />Their lives felt like an Ultimate African skit in National Theatre. Had they probably perhaps met in drama club maybe, all of them, including the children? Or had they fallen out of a story book as was the case with Inkheart, the movie? But movies are usually fiction.<br /><br />Some families can indeed be strange! Even when it comes to dinner at the table. Table manners really differ. On that note, never have lunch with Nigerians if at all you think your table manners are in the least up to average.<br /><br />I was invited for lunch at a certain Nigerians place. The food was pork and posho. My first time to eat that combination and more specifically, pork with soup. (Pork with soup!?? Smh)<br /><br />First of all expect only one serving spoon. This was to be used in the pork. (I actually think it was brought because there was a visitor)<br /><br />The guy asked if he could serve me, but after seeing how he used his hands to amass the posho in his grip, rolled it and then placed it on his plate, I was numb. I politely said I would serve myself and asked for a fork which wasn't brought until I said I didn't know hw to eat with bare hands.<br /><br />While eating, without even asking if I wanted more pork, he picked a piece of pork from his plate, with the fingers he had previously been licking of food and placed it on my plate.<br /><br />I puked on my plate, literally, that everything felt disgusting and I couldn't eat it anymore.<br /><br />Even worse was when, out of the notion that Nigerians don't waste food, he got all the food on my plate and poured it on his own, and ate it all. I excused my self to the restrooms. At the back of my mind, I had gone 'mbu' to puke .<br /><br />I leaned towards the sink. I started pleading for the puke to come out. It refused. Truth is, sometimes we can want to forge standards. While in the movies, actors can easily puke after seeing something disgusting, that's not always the case in real life.<br /><br />So when most of us say, 'eeew, I feel like puking, we mean,'eeeew, I wish I could puke, lodavmcy.'<br /><br />So the puke jam, and so did the pee. I flashed the toilet anyway so that they would know I wasn't doing anything restricted in their restrooms.<br /><br />By the way the food wasn't bad, but the eating habbits were despicable. My advice, when faced by a Nigerian, make sure you scoop enough in the first serving and isolate yourself.</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-47736982676635308222013-11-28T01:45:00.001-08:002013-11-28T01:45:16.631-08:00The Detour:: Why you need to be careful with the workforce you ...<a href="http://fascinated-loria.blogspot.com/2013/11/why-you-need-to-be-careful-with.html?spref=bl">The Detour:: Why you need to be careful with the workforce you ...</a>: Why you need to be careful with the workforce you hire. If you want to start up a business, and are relying on hiring cheap workforce, t...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-12431678015203200252013-11-28T01:42:00.001-08:002013-11-28T01:42:54.542-08:00Why you need to be careful with the workforce you hire.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
r<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: sans-serif;">Why you need to be careful with the workforce you hire.</span><br />
<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">If you want to start up a business, and are relying on hiring cheap workforce, think twice. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">You may look out for school drop outs (especially those who couldnot even complete pre primary) because they may be inexperienced, and thus have no burgaining power! </span></span><br /><br /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: sans-serif;">But always think about the full package before you settle for that. You know that part of your CV where you flaunt your skills/</span><wbr></wbr><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="word_break" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">proficiencies? Ok, look at it and turn each one of them to the negative. Also, don't forget to add exaggerations, because you do the same on your cv. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Lets take a look at some of these. (You need a shop attendant)</span></span><br /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: sans-serif;">Skills/</span><wbr></wbr><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="word_break" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">proficiencies</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">1. Undeniably incompetent</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">2. Poor time keeping skills</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">3. Slow problem solving skills</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">4. Good at convincing customers not to buy some products</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">5. Conflict stirring</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">6. Can mix business with pleasure.</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">7. Can chase away customers with my look ,like this <<€$%#&£@&>></span></span><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">8. Is insolent most times</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br /></span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">So now you know! They have zero creativity. Infact let's say the creativity is in the negative. It's so annoying. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I went to a shop around my home to buy some earbuds so I would desist from using my Bic pen lid. After battling through the raging dust, the shop attendant told me they didn't have earbuds. Then she made a suggestion that, to her, was to supplement the earbuds. Can you guess what she suggested? You are going to love this. She said, 'oba maybe i give you toothpicks. It's the same price even.'</span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I was too frustrated that I left without another word. Did she want me to to pierce my eardrum or what? Anyhow, in the long run, I couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous that was. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">A more annoying incident was when I went to buy 'always' (I know you gerrit). I asked the attendant and she said, in luganda, 'olweyz tewali naye mpozi twala ku pamper. Ndaba byagala okufanana'</span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">But isn't this really worse than mental fixedness? So for her, anything packaged in blue and white, served the same purpose.</span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Then there's another type of workforce whose commitment lasts only in the first month of employment. She will work herself so much that everyday of that month she will bring you some good money. When you offer to pay her for her efforts, she refuses. She is so 'caring'. She says, 'nedda, don't pay me now. Not until you recover the money you invested.'</span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">At that moment, you start wondering how lucky you can get that your sales person cares too much about you. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Don't be fooled!</span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">In the second month, she will start criticizing your product! She will say your prices are too high, customers are complaining and they can't buy. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">There will be no money that month and yet every day she goes to work. Then she will use her own money (which came from selling your goods) and purchase cheaper poor quality ones to sell in your shop. Your own shop! She starts using your products with an excuse that she's advertising them to customers. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">She lowers their prices so that customers can buy. She advises them to chose her product over yours. </span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">By the time you realize this, only regret will be available to you. Like they say cheap things are expensive. There goes cheap labor!</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-77238724988502692512013-11-28T01:33:00.004-08:002013-11-28T01:33:51.000-08:00One source of accents you have never guessed<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #43200d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #43200d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
We all know Ugandans donot have to first travel to oversea countries inorder to adopt a Foreign accent. (Most cases this accent is allegedly American.)</div>
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Some of the common ways we know are; crossing a border to other East African countries like Sudan, joining the entertainment industry especially becoming an upcoming artist, touring the airport, taking a picture next to the aeroplane, having a relative or facebook friend living abroad etc.</div>
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But there's one other path that is rarely considered. TRAUMA!</div>
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Forexample when you have just encountered a dramatic experience like an intense car accident, sliding and banging your head harshy against the bathtub or bathroom wall or even a severe heartbreak!</div>
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In event of these, trauma sets in. But then in some instances, you are needed to give a statement.</div>
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First of all, this will kind of feel like a movie scene. Because you are still in shock, having people surrounding you with worry and attention makes you feel even more vulnerable, and yet special. Best moment in life</div>
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Now my friend, Quinn, admitted that her usual accent made her feel like nothing had happened. Her voice had never sounded emotional nomatter how intense her situation was. Yet, though without a scratch, she was really terrified as she had never been involved in such a terrible accident. The coaster we were travelling in had rammed into a corona car, and the two passengers in the car had been terribly bruised and had to be rushed to hospital. Much as the coaster sustained some serious damage at the front, no one was physically hurt.</div>
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So, she decided to polish the accent and while she talked, all people felt her shock considering that tears flew effortlessly and complimented her new accent. An impeccable scene! In my heart, I was sure Quinns tears were probably due to a reflection on a sad childhood moment because, that momentary Quinn , I had never known.</div>
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This was how the questioning for the statement went.</div>
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Police officer. 'Kani you prease ter'as wot apen?</div>
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Quinn. 'I lonno, releeey... I... ajus apened ma'ryes an' fand masef hì. '</div>
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Officer: 'oke, befowa all this appen, donti you are rememba enesing you are do or hiya?</div>
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Quinn: 'aryt, aki mebi a'recall sum'ing aba sum'an callin ou' for d' chauffeur ta lower 'is spêd.'</div>
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Officer: 'so for yowaselef, the speed was finis you vele well?' (Speed yabade ekumala buringi?)</div>
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Quinn: ' OMG, Ah Mi Ga ... acan'tek 'is nomo. Sum'bud please ge mi outta hì.'</div>
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Hearing Quinn talk like that put me in double shock. First of all, I felt like she had stopped being my friend.</div>
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Then I was so confused that when the officer came to me to get my statement, I knew I couldn't talk like Quinn(I had tried whispering to myself in a foreign accent, in vain) so maybe they would take my side of the story less serious.</div>
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I told the officer, 'I plead the 5th', without being sure whether it applied in these circumstances or not. But then he said he wasn't 'understand wot appen on de 5th' claiming he was in the village visiting his wife whom he had taken a while without seeing and she was planning to divorce him. He said I shouldn't remind him of 5th.</div>
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I agreed.</div>
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Finally I had to plead that I didn't know anything and that I wasn't even aware of any accident.</div>
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He left.</div>
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I kept around to see if Quinn was still my friend.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-45963095760153362362013-11-16T02:08:00.001-08:002013-11-16T02:08:21.915-08:00How to optimize your time in a cafe!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="fw_sanitized" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118); border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I learnt this trick recently considering that umeme transformers all decided to elope at once with the eclipse, hopefully in liaison to bring us a hybrid hydro solar electric source of power.</span></div>
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So, you go to a cafe and because they are using generators, they say the price will be twice the normal charge whether you are using the internet or not . Which is unfair because you only want to use their power.</div>
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This is what you do.</div>
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1) Quarrel <i style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ko</i> alittle and frown your face at how that's really exploitation and burgain for a reduction. If the double price is 2400sh per hour, they will settle for 2000.</div>
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2. Use the internet anyway. Why opt to pay for only power yet you can get both at the same price.?</div>
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3. Make sure you carried your own laptop and tell them you need to use their port. While you are connected, tick all the options in your action centre/windows maintainance settings and let the updates run automatically. Update the antivirus too, download zumzum and everything you want.</div>
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4. If you plan on spending two hours there, break them down. First tell them you want 40 minutes. Then ask for 20 more minutes consecutively untill your two hours are down. So, are you wondering how this helps?</div>
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Ok thing is, the cafe attendant will feel so guilty of overcharging you and yet you are buying more and more time compared to everyone else who just uses 20 minutes and walks away.</div>
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For supporting her, she will add you 15 free minutes. (Because she thinks you are spending impulsively)</div>
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5. Ask her to help you locate 'Bold' or 'New times Roman'. (Ask this when your time is almost out.) Thing is she maynot know where they are but she will touch touch the mouse trying to locate them in Control Panel in vain and then tell you, 'Lonadi yagenze atte kilabika abimanyi'.</div>
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Remember you called her when you had 5 minutes left. Now in her heart, she will feel bad that she wasted your time trying to locate those 'things' so in her heart, she will say, 'ah kale naye lemme just give him <i style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">teni</i> more.'</div>
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The other good thing is while using the port, when your time is out, there's no way your pc will be blocked from access.</div>
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6. When you see her as if coming to warn you that your time is over, call her! You ask how much you owe her. She will tell you 4000sh</div>
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So, you give two 50,000sh notes and tell her to get 2000 from each note. Trust me by the time she gets back, you will have used more than 20 more minutes because;</div>
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i) she has to look for change. I forgot to mention that the cafe should be in an average town center. If its around down town, this wont work. The attendant can easily find loose money.</div>
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ii) While at it, she will bump into Mayiko! 'Kyoka mwana gwe mayiko wansubiza chipusi paka kati). Micheal now will start throwing lines that babe will be so caught up until she suddenly remembers, 'eh eh kyoka mayiko mpa ku change.' Micheal gives her change for the first 50k.</div>
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Then she will meet the Rolex guy, the food woman she owes money, rumormongering salon ladies, and etc.</div>
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When you are so exhausted with their internet, She eventually comes in apologizing for delaying and for failing to find change for the other 50,000sh note. So you tell her its cool, you can get 4000sh from one note.</div>
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At the end of the day, you have used 3 hours which should have been 6000sh (but 3600 during normal Umeme situations) and paid for two hours (4000shs).</div>
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And she will thank you for being her best customer of the day that she will ask, 'Oba nkuleteryo ne soda? '</div>
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Please don't accept nomatter how tempting that is, lest you appear to have no conscience at all.</div>
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Categories: <a href="http://www.eyesonug.com/apps/blog/categories/show/1795181-ug-society" style="border: 0px; color: #a65600; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ug Society</a>, <a href="http://www.eyesonug.com/apps/blog/categories/show/1795188-ug-humour" style="border: 0px; color: #a65600; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ug Hu</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-4159674320035741702013-11-09T00:01:00.001-08:002013-11-09T00:01:59.513-08:00Studying as a 'mature' isn't funny.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If you have finished your first degree and are thinking of doing Masters
immediately, that's a good step. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">But these are
some of the challenges you experience. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">1. The campus you knew suddenly feels like primary school.</span></div>
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The moment you
are around the school environment, you feel terribly old.( It’s more of a
sickly feeling). This is due to the way children are excited about being at
campus. Trust that that feeling doesn’t stop in first year! You feel that
whoever is looking at you is calculating how many years since you last got in
touch with a university.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And yet you are
innocent in age. Probably just 1-4years older than most of the kids. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">In addition, the way they dress, mostly color blocking, indeed makes you feel
you are in kindergarten. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">2. Lecturers have no respect for you. </span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">This is especially when they realize you are still a fresh graduate and you
have no job. They will treat you like they would freshers. They will try to
discourage you forgetting that they are supposed to see you as mature people.
The most common things they will tell you are that the course you are doing
isn't marketable and you will surely spend 5 years without a job if you pursue
it; That everyone gets at least one retake throughout their stay; That you can
never finish your research on time; That every week there will be coursework
and presentations on which 40% of the marks will base. That 10 marks will be
for attendance they always carry roll call sheets. </span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">And after all that negative jazz, they remind you to pay your tuition on time
so that their salary can also be on time. Yeah, that's how selfish they are.</span></div>
</span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">By the time the day one lecture is done, you are already a school dropout. You
already have your worst lecturer, worst moment in life and the most feasible
plans for your tuition. But wait, you are probably not sponsoring yourself. So
you either be hard core and study or return the tuition and worse still, go
back home to doing housework.</span></div>
</span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">3. Lecturers don’t come!</span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">It is astonishing, but, they always have excuses that make a lot of sense. For example,
I forgot my coat at home; students might strike; it is my birthday; they want
to scrap our allowances; it has rained lice and mice; I can’t find my car; my
wife hasn't picked the kids; and the list is endless.</span></div>
</span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">The sad part is, they don’t tell you beforehand that they plan to dodge. They
forget you are supposed to be treated maturely, that you are </span><i style="font-size: 12pt;">busy</i><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> and have no time to waste like
those undergraduates. It is also costly; So you spend 7k on transport, 2k on
the four </span><i style="font-size: 12pt;">sumbusas</i><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> at the canteen and
1k on airtime. These expenses, you realize, would have been avoided and your
10k would be lying neatly in your wallet if these lectures were not
irresponsible.</span></div>
</span>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">4. It's hard to admit that you are doing
your masters. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Did you know that if you admit, it means
you are 5-6 years older than your age mates? Yeah, apparently, there’s a
misconception that only old people pursue masters degrees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This doesn’t go well for the ladies.
First and foremost, they are supposed to be at least three years younger at any
given moment in time, according to some sort of philosophy out there. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">So before you make that brilliant choice, be ready to face all that</span></div>
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-76385616144329724432013-10-21T13:32:00.002-07:002013-10-21T13:52:07.123-07:00The side effects of being too dark:(Blacker is more Beautiful Though)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://arteminian.com/fashionbombdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Ajuma-Nasenyana-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="213" src="http://arteminian.com/fashionbombdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Ajuma-Nasenyana-2.jpg" title="black" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blacker is more beautiful</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The only consoling factor is that you are not alone. If you ever think you are too dark, and feel quite uncomfy about it, think of me. This only applies if you are not from Sudan. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">If you ever wish that someone categorized you as light skinned, go to Sudan, date a dinka. He/she will always refer to you as, 'my brown babe/dude.'</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">This Sudan solution is a long sho</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline;"><span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">t though. And while your darkness lasts, you can never look good with a tattoo Damn! No one will see it. Only you will know that you have it. </span></span></span></div>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">If you insist that you have one, you might need to prove it probably with a tattoo receipt or go get the tattooist to prove that he indeed worked on you. More blessed will you be if he was cautious enough to install cameras in his shop.</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">The other major problem is taking pictures. Confession;- If I have ever ignored your invites to studio group photos, now you know why. It's just that you are the last person to be seen in the pic. One time I heard a friend say, 'eh eh all along Kiglo is in this pic'. She hadn't noticed me all this while? Like seriously, my own tight friend since high school couldn't tell it was me all this while yet I was sure she had seen the pic several times before.</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">When the camera guy shows you the pics through his camera screen, you ask him to take other shots, complaining that those came out a little too dark. You find all kinds of excuses. 'Maybe you are taking from the wrong angle.'</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">'oba perhaps probably maybe the light is like possibly kinda somehow dim in a way?'</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">Seriously, I also get tired of these excuses. </span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">Even in the pics, only the teeth and eyes show. People dont ask, 'who is that?' Instead they ask, 'Whose white teeth and eyes?' Forgetting that the whiteness is just an illusion created by the dark complexion. <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/77/LeGarrette_Blount_2009-09.03.jpg/200px-LeGarrette_Blount_2009-09.03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/77/LeGarrette_Blount_2009-09.03.jpg/200px-LeGarrette_Blount_2009-09.03.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Okay maybe a yellow tattoo?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">When pics are taken on the phone and they don't come out well, you start saying peoples cameras have very low pixels, or that they are Chinese made or they ain't smart phones at all!</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">Then God even decides to bless you with only light skinned bestos, which makes matters worse. These are the people you hook up almost everyday. Many at times, I be like, ' God, give me </span><i style="line-height: 18px;">ko </i><span style="line-height: 18px;">a best friend who is darker than me.' This, vainly though. </span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">You try so hard with dressing! In school there was this babe who only wore bright colored t-shirts arguing that they made her, 'brown'. She advised me, discretely, to try it sometime. Think I did try to purchase more of those bright colors when I went for holidays. However, I was totally saddened when she never came back to the school the next term.</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">That made me the lead </span><i style="line-height: 18px;">blackee</i><span style="line-height: 18px;">.</span></div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">However, since we all studied maths, we should find console in the equation that Black is Beautiful (x 2) = Blacker is more Beautiful. Cheers! We rock!</span></div>
</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-48641724748470944712013-10-11T02:48:00.001-07:002013-10-11T02:48:41.676-07:00My stupid buddy who proposed. (I mean the good stupid. You know there are two.)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="_38 direction_ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="null"><br /></span>
<span class="null"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.howtobuyengagementring.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Propose-Her.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="145" src="http://www.howtobuyengagementring.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Propose-Her.jpg" width="200" /></a><span class="null">He's my buddy,
just. We hang out when we are bored, window shopping mainly. This time
he wants me to help him select a beautiful engagement ring. He says he
has met 'The One'. I'm so happy for my buddy, you know, because I
thought he would always have trouble finding a girl who loved him
unconditionally.<br />
<br />
You guys know Brown? Ok, Brown is also my buddy.
Dude is too tall, you might need a ladder to engage in face to face
conversation with him. Now Zion, you will need an outdoor elevator.
Some of you know it as a lift. <br />
Bambi, I (platonic) love him.
Walking with somebody madly taller than me kinda gets me mob attention,
smiles and 'hellos' from strangers. Fine, maybe all those are meant for
Zion, but friends share, right?<br />
<br />
There is this shop about opposite
Fido Dido where rings are sold. We walk there. All rings are so
beautiful, I almost want to tell Zion to buy two and give me one, just
for just. Finally, we decide on which ring to buy. Zion starts
yapping how he can't wait to propose to this chic, how she melts his
tall heart. And most importantly, she didn't mind his height. Can you
imagine most of his exes allegedly left him because of his tallness? I
could not wait to see my friend in law. Zion assured me that I would be
there to witness the proposal.<br />
<br />
We walk to a restaurant for
refreshments. Obviously, a fanta for me. You are aware about the free
data codes, I guess. Infact I order a sprite for Zion before he can say
mbu, 'For me I'm okay'. Kinda his favorite line.<br />
<br />
Zion gets the ring out. Rolling it around and between his finger and thumb, his speech follows.
'Baby', (I always wonder why an agemate can call me baby, really? Atleast baibe)<br />
<br />
'Baby,
the girl that makes my (tall) heart melt ... that girl.... she is you.'
He says, his eyes flickering like light, his nose widening alittle,
like it occasionally did when he was serious or pretending to be for
that matter.<br />
'Will you marry me?'<br />
<br />
Flabbergasted, my one bottle top flies off the table with my 10mbs. (Blessed is he that picked it.)<br />
<br />
I
have a strong urge to vigorously slap Zion. But being the first guy to
propose marriage with a ring, I'm burning to say yes. For the feel of
it. My dear, at my age of okay you are not 30 but almost there, that
question is highly Magical. Matter of factly, you are almost on the
verge of being the one to ask it.<br />
<br />
Then, Mountain (his name when
I'm angry) snaps out of it and laughs at how in his words, abundant
emotion has spilled over my face he can hardly recognize me.<br />
<br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="null"><a href="http://www.feminiya.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/how-to-propose-a-girl-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="http://www.feminiya.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/how-to-propose-a-girl-1.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<span class="null">Again, can't I like sue somebody for emotional abuse? <br />
<br />
You also know this saying mbu, 'tosemba nakyo.'<br />
<br />
I
tell Zion that he should prank Maria. You know those babes who think
the guy is in love with them yet he has even never asked them out for
water not even street sweetpepsi? That's Maria.<br />
<br />
We link up with
her around mabirizi plaza where she runs a boutique. Zion pretends to be
nervous for a while, walking about the room and chanting words we could
hardly figure out. Suddenly, he gets on one knee, facing Maria, and
pops the question.
Maria, in dire shock, like a typical Muganda, rushes out for just
second. She returns with her parents and wannabe relatives to witness
that important moment.<br />
<br />
'Daddy, mummy this is the Zayani I was
tell you at'. ' Zayani ok pulopose on the infront of my parentoz (yeah
that was her english).<br />
<br />
Guess who hid under the table? I even slept off. Living to wonder how that rackus unfolded.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-9049945524530399712013-09-09T01:44:00.001-07:002013-09-09T01:44:13.297-07:00Is it a shame not to know how to dance?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120919202803/protagonist/images/d/dc/JohnnyBravo.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120919202803/protagonist/images/d/dc/JohnnyBravo.gif" width="320" /></a>Seriously, is anything wrong with being a wrong dancer? Huh!</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
Well that’s what some friends have told me. Every one says it. They even say that you should dance whenever you go to parties if you want to have fun.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
But who said it is a must to dance on parties inorder to have fun?</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
For some of us it’s food and more food and maybe more Coke/Sprite/Fanta because that’s means more free MBs and more surfing the net.</div>
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You know what isn’t fun? Missing a piece of chicken or cake. Like seriously, why go ahead and make a party when you know not all guests will have a piece either chicken or cake? That’s an insult to people’s appetite. We feel that our vain contributions to your party were embezzled.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
There are about 5 people am still so angry with because they didn’t have enough cake on their weddings. I even wrote down their names so that I never forget.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_6KIBVJNTzcW56p8fmVH7w5MVJo9MgpS39OXC02yxad79oJHbpK3ILSy3zqFRZfhaJntGE8BjFfkgGagCXXl0XKoZ59FciQ2Cm9X1Ykt8EwIPvKF7a5zqdzPUZ_d2Eo2g1j9M2wFnxbg/s400/IMG_5100.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_6KIBVJNTzcW56p8fmVH7w5MVJo9MgpS39OXC02yxad79oJHbpK3ILSy3zqFRZfhaJntGE8BjFfkgGagCXXl0XKoZ59FciQ2Cm9X1Ykt8EwIPvKF7a5zqdzPUZ_d2Eo2g1j9M2wFnxbg/s200/IMG_5100.jpg" width="149" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
So mbu dancing is ‘life’. Okay, maybe so. I also dance in church though that entails merely jumping up and down and running.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
Running!</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
You should see me at Watoto central at the extreme back of the upper auditorium when it comes to the Hillsong song that goes, ‘we are running’</div>
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My! Kiprotich is my grandson when that song plays.</div>
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I believe I even lose about a calorie while at it. Which isn’t bad you know.</div>
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My girls always invite me to hang with them in club but I usually decline. That’s something I denounced in 2010. Some other time, the girls invited me to the beach. The thought of the breeze wouldn’t allow me to reject the invite.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
In broad day light, but it felt like I was in an outdoor club. The strokes people were pulling right there were for the generation after I’m dead.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
After 100 years. Good enough I had travelled with earphones. Having them in my ears gave me the illusion that I couldn’t see what was taking place.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
One fateful day, I crashed a get together of some Mzungu I later learnt was a UN official. This guy didn’t forget my name several minutes after we had been introduced.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
I could not recall his the second after.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
After eating, several guests reached for the dance floor. I later realized I was the only one seated. I had to step up. At least for the fact that he still recalled my name.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
I joined in and started imitating dance strokes so alien. Muscle pulls started almost immediately. These guys were old judging from music preference. But anyway what do I know about music?</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
We were dancing in a circle and everyone had to share a stroke. When my turn came, I felt like it was a pun intended. I suddenly recalled my friend back in the day. She was so flexible in her dance moves.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
Now, you know Johnny Bravo? Okay picture the female version.That’s me.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
So now you know me? Multiply by 2. That’s Fifi. No one could beat Fifi when it came to ‘go down’ strokes.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
In the centre of the dance circle, in my head, I became Fifi. I wound my waist vigorously (that wasn’t so hard it’s actually the back that was shaking). The rest wound theirs too.Then I led my body down (still shaking back). That went well still.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
The next move was getting back up. My body failed me. Instead I fell flat on my chest. The only thing on my mind was how embarrassed I would feel when I finally got up.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
To my surprise, everyone had fallen on their chests in honor of my stroke. They were chuckling like it was the funniest dance move they had ever encountered and totally loved it. I was to sign autographs later on but oba what happened.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Droid Sans', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
Being Fifi sadly, gave me the worst muscle pulls I have ever had.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-41502443789747563622013-08-09T07:51:00.001-07:002013-08-09T07:51:14.537-07:00What the Pulic Order Management Bill requires of you.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://batraim.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/public-management.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://batraim.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/public-management.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
1. You should have the Police’s number on speed dial so you can
quickly notify them just incase you want to mention any thing political.
Terms like Government, Politics, 2016, Yellow, Term limit, constitution
etc wherever you maybe.<br />
<br />
2. Incase you forget to notify the Police prior, call them after with
a summary of what you discussed. Ask them if they are on Whatsapp and
keep them posted with pics of your group which is of course more than
two people.<br />
<br />
3. If the political gathering was at your home, and the enforcement
guys fell on you in action, you should give them food before they arrest
you and fire their live bullets.<br />
<br />
4.In Every household or group of people, atleast one of you must be
in possession of teargas cans and fully loaded guns. Just incase the
Order boys forgot to carry theirs. You should help them help you. So
contact all arm traffickers on tradelinks if any or wherever for these
supplies so you can please these boys. Nothing will stop them arresting
you anyway.<br />
<br />
5. Install cameras in your homes and record all your public Meetings.
You might mention something political which will be of help to the
police. You have to be politically righteous remember. The Motto is “For
Sevo my Country.<br />
<br />
6. Stick to gatherings of two. This doesnt mean you should trigger
population growth. Can’t you talk alone anyway? Discuss politics with
yourself. It’s not illegal. If you are desperate for audience, collect
all kids between 1 and 3 years old from your neighborhood and hold a
political rally. Share all your sentiments. Even if the police caught
you and charged you of not notifying them, you have so many witnesses
who won’t say a thing even if they wait for them to reach 18years to
testify in court.<br />
<br />
7. Discuss politics on social media. This is where you need to create
more political groups of Facebook, whatsapp, skype and hushtags on
twitter. Or is that also a public gathering?<br />
<br />
8. Remember the abbreviation of the Bill is POMB not BOMB. The later
can mean Bad Order Management Bill. Don’t misspell that unless you want
to receive conjugal visits in prison. Adventure is good, but you need to
think about the things you will miss while in prison like Facebook
pokes, twitter followers and the Samsung Galaxy SXV which will be
installed in people’s pals in the later years etc.<br />
<br />
9. The word Private ceases to existing in your vocabulary unless you are only 2 or less persons involved (-1 and below)<br />
<br />
Forewarned, Forearmed.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-50280551428353036622013-08-09T07:48:00.001-07:002013-08-09T07:57:08.176-07:00Of Having a Pet in Uganda.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In uganda, your pet is that animal/bird you have seen on Tv, movies or read about in children’s books and become fond of.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJIYVMPaYJuhtVYdAERRPN3rV1O4FpEPooc4EraH577AfoK3BbePFRpMKNUSUd0YqZCfxWsiXX1X7PHIC8lSFDryUe8ueadjKe0sPWAlymjMcqZ5FoGwni01Et3V7tM7itNvERgmPTWLc/s1600/Arabian+horses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJIYVMPaYJuhtVYdAERRPN3rV1O4FpEPooc4EraH577AfoK3BbePFRpMKNUSUd0YqZCfxWsiXX1X7PHIC8lSFDryUe8ueadjKe0sPWAlymjMcqZ5FoGwni01Et3V7tM7itNvERgmPTWLc/s320/Arabian+horses.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">eh kwonka this horse looks fierce!! Even if you give it to me for free!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Almost every one has(had) a pet, especially girls in high school. Ask those autobooks theyused to fill.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Those days, mine was a monkey. We all know that was Sarah’s pet.
Sarah the cartoon gal we used to read about in one of the newspapers
some years back. Zingo was the monkey’s name.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My pet could have been a dog or cat like most people’s but then one
day a cat scratched me with its dirty claws when I had gone to visit a
friend. Mbu I was trying to befriend the cat since everyone else held it
and it was nice to them.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That backfired for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At an earlier time, when I was new to that neighborhood, some kids
surrounded me at a kiosk. They had a puppy. They rubbed its skin against
my arm and lied to me that I had just gotten rabbies and would
eventually die.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I wailed on my way home.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I consulted my mum about it and she confirmed it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was going to die!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I know, it was mean. But I did it. I was only about 4 years old and as you can see she wasn’t any emphatic towards me.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Puppies, cats and me, will never connect since history.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That’s why monkey won. It was my pet even though I had never seen one live.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Now that I have grown, and I know what I want and am more self defined, My pet is a Horse.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Horses are so lovely. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
First of all, they are huge. Chill the tiny
cats and dogs which can’t even give you a lift incase you don’t have
acar.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
A horse can also cut on your transport costs and it will make you a ‘celeb’ if you are lucky enough to bump into paparrazi.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But don’t take them to places with traffic jam. They might get mad. You dont want to see them mad.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They are impulsive.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They will jump onto the cars and race their way away from the jam. Collateral damage will be on you.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Secondly, they are the best animals to trust. They dont trust easily though, so you need to earn their trust.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Carrots and massages could do the trick.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They are so understanding. Even if you can’t prove it. You just believe it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
You can google the rest.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So, a horse will always be my best pet until I actually own one and it dumps me off its bark while I try riding it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then perhaps I will rare rats?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
Yeah?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That i</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
s some lucrative business venture of late.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-17720038731603016092013-08-09T07:18:00.001-07:002013-10-12T11:13:25.086-07:00Of Facebook Worshipping.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://batraim.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/facebook-worship-700x315.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="144" src="http://batraim.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/facebook-worship-700x315.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I joined Facebook as a result of eavesdropping. I was in my first
year and was sharing a suite with three other people in a hostel. It had
two rooms and two people shared each room. The galz in the other room
were rather cool, advanced, admirable. They had laptops, Tv, mobile
wardrobes, even cutlery! We had nothing. I’m glad iPads weren’t a fad at
a time.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They would have had them.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I had over heard them talk about Facebook several times before. This time, I listened in to the whole conversation .</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
‘Hey, are you friends with GG on facebook? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
‘No. Meanwhile TT poked
me! ‘ </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
‘Aaah that guy ain’t cool. He writes weird things on my wall ‘</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
‘Yeah, i noticed. His updates always show up on my homepage.’</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was sure that I would never afford to buy Facebook. Where the heck
was I going to find wall, notifications, poke( Pork? I knew where to
find pork), home page etc. I couldnt figure out how the wall at our home
and pages in my books would be of help in discovering Facebook.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Every day, I accepted that those babes were from rich families and I would never parallel them. Ever!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I also noticed whenever they spoke of Facebook, they had been
clinging onto their expensive phones, scrolling and pressing buttons non
stop. I checked my Nokia 2310 for any clues to Facebook </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
and there was none.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I used to go to the nearby cafe to check my mail and my hi5 account.
Part of me was convinced that however rich they were, perhaps they had
no idea what hi5 was all about. I intended to tell them about it as soon
as we grew closer as Suitemates.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
While at the cafe, I tried searching for the meaning of Facebook. I
saw sign up options. I did. I tried to read more about it. I Learnt it
was a way of connecting with friends all over the world. Just like hi5.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I didn’t know what to do next. I signed out. Next time in the cafe I
found one friend request. I accepted it and learned that people could
actually send and accept requests. I got myself a hobby.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The easiest thing was the question. ‘Whats on your mind?’ I wondered
why other institutions I had been too weren’t as understanding,
simplistic and precise as Facebook. I also thought it was a must to accept all friend requests, comment on
everyone’s status, poke back and reply all chats lest you be punished by
the Headmaster and then expelled.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Facebook started feeling like a chore. I lost some calories and focus on my studies for sometime.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Before Facebook, the in thing was the conference calls on Warid
Pakalast.(The one that got hitched recently.) We would talk all day and
night. Ears would hurt, calm down and hurt again. Till Facebook. I told
friends about it but some didn’t even know how to use a computer.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Fast forward >>>>></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Facebook is now a god. Everyone can have it. Even the poor. My rich
former roommates must now be on something else beyond Twitter and
Instagram. Perhaps Amazon or Weed? I hope they are not on weed. Their
heads run on android o.s maybe? We will get there too.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
People care so much about Facebook. They Worship, adore, obey, like and share it’s word. Instead of wondering ‘what would God think of me’, they wonder ‘ how
will people on Facebook take this. Recently I was watch<span id="goog_4764511"></span><span id="goog_4764512"></span>ing an episode of
Royal Pains where a patient was diagnosed with some weird ailment. Her
comment was, ‘ eeeew, this will make the weirdest status update ever!’. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
From that statement you realize that she feels compelled to update her
status about anything in her life. And then it worries her more than
what she’s suffering from.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
People have kinda lost it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
There’s this babe who got involved in an accident . The house broke
down on her with a friend. Building materials were covering them and
white dust posed as powder on them. She remembered she had her phone and
got it out to write an update. I guess as she wrote it, she realized
people wouldn’t believe her.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Seeing is believing.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
She stretched her hand.’Sherry, here, can you reach my phone, take me a pic for fb.’Sherry started whining. She got the phone anyway. The damsel under distress could afford asmile as they waited for help.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So there was a pic of her and an update that read, ‘ me and Sherry
trapped under collapsed building.’ You could think there was something
to brag about.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-48568788902833796152013-07-11T07:11:00.000-07:002013-07-11T07:17:48.161-07:00Kids will lead you to your grave much sooner than you think.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHQ5Bsw_-xsrR7saBh2LU69Es-6i_tLAP4ILhCbOb14c8Q1Cv3" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="117" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHQ5Bsw_-xsrR7saBh2LU69Es-6i_tLAP4ILhCbOb14c8Q1Cv3" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11pt;">I love spending time with kids. I do so even in my mind since physically; they
are not easy to come by of late. They are locked up in high walled prison cells
masquerading as their homes (or do I mean home masqueraded as prison cells -
not sure). </span><span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11pt;">They laugh so hard at things
that are not funny and make you think you could easily be hired to perform with
the U-turn comedians. You make a funny face, and one dumb kid literally dies of
hilarity that she has to first lie on the floor against her back and digest all
the laughter you just ignited in them.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1373548714594_2053" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;">They think you are a miracle worker. The good part about
that is that they will believe what you say. When one hits her smallest toe
against the wall, she will cry so hard while staring at you to do something; to
heal them. All you need to do is touch the injured part and convince them that
the pain is gone. Ask where it was that they hit their toe, then slap and spit
on it. Allow them to do the same. There. You have performed your miracle.
Whether the pain was real or imagined, it disappears instantly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;">They think you are a magician. That’s the
worst part. I regretted why I had played with them in the first place, solved
all their mysteries, healed their pain and made them laugh. They assumed I
could do anything. AND, I could not risk spoiling that image.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1373548714594_2055" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;">Now <i>Ka</i> Bernie
was the first to start. 'Auntie, come catch faya.' He started calling out
non-stop. Definitely the devil had managed to enter that one’s mind. The devil indeed
has no shame. Of all things available in the area, it lured the little thing’s
mind towards fire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRkQLaMQ4pVY1aOIUfMProXYlPVi4PczVyQlS_q8TC0_RtWUukh" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRkQLaMQ4pVY1aOIUfMProXYlPVi4PczVyQlS_q8TC0_RtWUukh" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'<br /><div style="text-align: justify;">
Auntie catch faya'</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Ghandi, Stephan and Brielle now joined Bernie. 'Auntie yes, come catch faya,
come catch faya.' They started singing and clapping, morale boosting me like I was
competing on their Sports day at school. 'Auntie, catch faya, catch faya.'</span></div>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;">I gawked at the ruthless charcoal stove
that they had all surrounded, clapping their hands with ceaseless anticipation.
Didn't kids actually listen to music? They should have known the song which
goes, 'Don't play with fire; fire burns, fire burns'. Most dot.com kids know it.
Were these ones rather too blonde?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;">Never the less, whenever am faced with
tight situations as these, I think of where I come from to draw some strength
from it. A Mukiga never gives up without giving something a try. My ancestors
would never forgive me for weakness. The blondes were still clapping for Auntie
to catch fire. Auntie caught fire indeed! I used a spoon to put a red hot
charcoal piece on my hand and for four seconds alternated it in both<span class="apple-converted-space"> hands. </span>It<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>burnt
both my palms in the middle spots. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;">The silly kids ran away immediately to
tell all neighbors, passersby, wondering dogs and any insects that cared to
listen to them about how Auntie ‘<i>catched’</i>
fire. None of them caring that I was terribly hurt. Damn the ancestors who
could not even come to my rescue yet I risked my life to save their reputation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-size: 11.0pt;">The person in me who had healed the kids
of all pain accruing from injuries had disappeared a long time ago. I could not
perform any miracle for myself. As I type, am only grateful that my fingertips survived
to tell this story. Watch out while with kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-85334852530008163002013-06-25T09:16:00.000-07:002013-06-25T09:16:06.157-07:00The Secret that strengthened our Love; And ruined it.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQIxUWGuXMxWsVfHaCgxoKEp5PPHUplmf3UsD8XcEn8zPsmihdh" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQIxUWGuXMxWsVfHaCgxoKEp5PPHUplmf3UsD8XcEn8zPsmihdh" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">People express love differently. They do
a hand full of silly things that as an outsider you may find weird and
infuriating, but for lovers, a way to have quality time. So you don't have to
just judge couples.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My ex, his face was richly endowed with
big and at times swollen ripe pimples with yellow pus peeping through the
pimple windows as if trying to push through towards freedom. It’s like we were
always on competition. He, of course, was the unbeatable winner ‘cause my
pimples only came around during that time of the month and were usually tiny,
swelling only when provoked. Zabuloni and I always popped each other’s ripe
pimples for fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">How it started. </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">One of those lonely evenings, Zabu and I
agreed to meet under one of the shades around city square. Most coupes did meet
there. We talked all there was to talk about and suddenly there was nothing
else left to do than stare at each other which was rather boring. Finally, as
if he had been practicing the line over and over again in his head, he
whispered, ‘you look beautiful’. I grinned heftily. Never the less,
I couldn't say the same about his roughly pimpled face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">‘Don't those pimples pain you a lot?’, I
asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">‘A little.' He said, shrugging his
shoulder as if in his mind saying, ‘if my pimples embarrass u then turn to the
left .'<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The left was no option for me. I
couldn't replace my Zabu in just a minute like Beyonce brags. That would be
impossible. I needed to find a way to make the situation less awkward than I
had made it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">'Why don’t you pop the ripe ones? I
could help.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">'No my doctor said I shouldn't pop
them.'<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">‘Well, doctors say a lot of stuff. Can I
pop them?’, I pleaded. An instant exclamation formed on his face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I lured him into getting the next taxi
to my condo in Kikoni. The dangerous game begun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I boiled water to clean his face and
wash my hands, cotton wool and spirit to cleanse the pimple area before
Operation Erasing Ripe Pimples begun. Plasters were in place. With the
cleansing done, I popped all three ripe pimples till all the white heads were
out. I applied spirit again and then placed the tiny plasters against all the
operated parts. My man, Zabuloni looked like Nelly (v.3).</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTL4b_FuUkEJOFjLX41sjPzRmRo0jd4mDaHCB5_dI7Xoon9XU514A" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTL4b_FuUkEJOFjLX41sjPzRmRo0jd4mDaHCB5_dI7Xoon9XU514A" width="200" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He may not have mentioned a thing about
it, but I noticed that our relationship became even stronger. He called more
often, I could almost bet he wished he had a new ripe pimple to talk about
every time he called me on pakalast. Two weeks later, my own tiny ones started
developing and maturing. Zabu, without asking got all necessary equipment and
started the Operation on me as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We found us a hobby. Very often while
chatting on phone we would ask each other if there was any new development on
our faces that needed to be worked on. If there was one, we would meet as soon
as possible before nature or accident would break the ripe ones and spoil our
chances of having fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">How it led to our breakup. </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Pimple popping, like I said, was
strengthening our relationship until one day, Zabu called saying he urgently
needed us to meet. That day I had promised a friend who had just given birth
that I would go help her sort the baby gifts she had received. Zabu pleaded that
instead I visit the baby the next day. I declined. The next day I called Zabu
with the intention of asking him over so we would get on with it. His phone had
been switched off. Only hours later, I noticed he had left a note which he had
passed beneath the door. My Zabu had sent me to the left, just 'cause of one
damned ripe pimple.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Just one pimple! I could not believe it.
Zabu and I had been through a lot together. Tough times had come but we had
still been victorious. Like when I first found out that he was 26 instead of 19
like he had always mentioned. I was only 17, innocent and guileless. I told him
I could not date a sugar daddy. Somehow, he had managed to convince me that
sugar daddies were always 20 years of more older. Zabu was only 9 years older.
I forgave him. Another incident was when I found out that he had all along lied
to me that he was Muslim. One thing I had always wanted was to be called
‘Hajati’ and I knew that Zabu would be a shortcut. One fateful day I found out
he was Christian all the while. He pleaded with tears and bent knees that I
cried along with him. I forgive him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I only could not imagine why after all
we had been through, something that had strengthened our relationship could
actually break it up that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-16188804084055549762013-06-07T04:48:00.000-07:002013-06-07T04:48:43.217-07:00Someone Teach Me how to ‘be surprised’: I’m a Mukiga! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/0/3/3/2/6/1/4/SUPRISED-FACE-87155044475.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/0/3/3/2/6/1/4/SUPRISED-FACE-87155044475.jpeg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br />
I have been surprised by many things before and in fact overwhelmed by some of
them. But, may God damn the day I failed to get surprised as I should have. I
disappointed a lot of people that I love. To be clear, the previous times I
have been surprised by things, I think I was alone. So perhaps I laughed out
loud, or shook my head and then the rest of the surprise digestion took place
in my head; wondering how something could have happened with my eyes open and
yet not figured it out. Like in the movies, they usually surprise me; so when am
watching movies, I work out conspiracies; I replay suspicious parts so that I
get the actions and words right. I want to work out what’s coming next so that
I don’t be caught by surprise as if I would lose a million dollars which I
don’t have if I did. However, I love when the movie gets me off
guard. I get to think about what I could have missed, I try to figure it out in
my bed and it’s what takes me to a nice slumber, sometimes taking the
calculations further to dream land, where am usually the main star.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">Someone teach me how to
be surprised properly especially in public places. In other words, not to be
surprised quietly but expressively like when, in the movies, a lady gets
surprised with so much excitement when her boyfriend proposes to her, or buys
her a car. Then she screams out so loud that you can imagine her lungs dancing
too. Something like that. It’s so absurd that their surprise act is more
convincing than my real naturally unexpressive way of being surprised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">Sometime back, my tights
surprised me with they something I total love; I could cancel appointments for
it at any given time, I could betray my responsibilities or tell lies
unconsciously because of it (stop guessing what it could be). But there it was,
in front of me, they all waiting to see how I would react. I had no idea I was
to scream or step on public chairs and attract everyone’s attention. Instead I
was ashamed that I didn’t know what exactly to do, apart from digest the
beautiful aura it brought, shriek inwardly and feel blessed that my friends
thought of me in that way. And then almost at once, they had all lost it for
me. They spoke their minds of how they expected something from me, anything
that expressed surprise, in vain. I had utterly ruined their evening to only
regret – I think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/10591825/2/stock-photo-10591825-suprised-middle-age-man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/10591825/2/stock-photo-10591825-suprised-middle-age-man.jpg" width="155" /></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">See why I need surprise
lessons? Also, someone remind my friends that I’m a Mukiga! Bakiga may well be
known for speaking their minds and calling a spade a spade but to the same
extent, the level of expressing emotion differs with bad or good emotion. It’s
much easier for them to ‘express’ anger than surprise. In as much as surprise
may be felt intensely, personally I haven’t seen a Mukiga shed joyful tears or
scream in public. Tears may approach the eyes but a Mukiga never sheds a tear
in public. Naturally or controlled, <i>eswagger ly’abakiga </i>can’t
let that happen. <i> </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">To be on the safe side,
am ready to be a Born Again Mukiga. I’m ready to learn how to be surprised in
public, perhaps some acting lessons? I need to act in a Kinauganda as a poor
house gal who is overworked and beaten that she has to cry all the time. Who is
in love with a rich politician (who loves her back) but they can’t be together
because of social status. And he ends up marrying a female doctor because their
families together would make a good business partnership. Then I would have to
cry and cry and cry. But wait, this is suffering not surprise. No, I need to be
that female doctor in the script who gets married to the rich politician who
buys me flowers every evening from work. And with every flower, I have to act
very surprised, because apparently he is the only man that gives me flowers
every day. (As if he isn’t my only husband.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-18148064109768847462013-05-10T09:58:00.000-07:002013-05-10T10:04:11.467-07:00Road construction should incorporate feminism.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSsuEszGoF5e6W6cWHS-nAES68H-HB4WMRSh4m2CyTp5UOkqVs06g" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSsuEszGoF5e6W6cWHS-nAES68H-HB4WMRSh4m2CyTp5UOkqVs06g" width="151" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #37404e;"><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's really unfair to females that most roads around the city
are constructed with tiny multi-humps (<i>oba</i>
what are their real names, but you get what am talking about, er?' I won't deny
that they make the road attractive that sometimes I feel like walking in the
middle of the road, however, the consequences are rather disturbing. (Actually
there's onl<span class="textexposedshow">y effect I know/I’m basing on).</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #37404e;"><span style="background: white;"><span class="textexposedshow" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">Most times when I use the road from Ntinda to Spear
motors, I have seen some women (including yours truly) protecting their rich
bosoms with one hand or two, preventing them from rhythmically going up and
down with the taxi movement, usually accompanied with pain equivalent to that I
experience while rope skipping unless I don them in both a bra and bob-tub.
Matter-of-factly, I gave up exercising because of that inconvenience.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="textexposedshow">Furthermore, drivers don’t care to reduce the speed
when they get to the humps. They will never have awesome chests as ours and
thus have no idea what we go through. I’m almost certain they enjoy those spots,
on the contrary.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="textexposedshow">Such a scenario was even worse for a lady who had
gotten into the taxi clad in a tight blouse advertising and firmly supporting
her million dollar cleavage, having some passengers especially 'you know which
species' keep looking behind to feed their eyes on the free luscious and live
show. It was discomforting for the driver to do so until he remembered his taxi
had a mirror before him. When we got to the multi-humps, without warn, both
bosoms grudgingly jumped out of her bra, assuring their master of their ability
to identify doors of freedom and optimally utilize them.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow"><br /></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span class="textexposedshow" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="textexposedshow"><span style="color: #37404e;">I thought she deserved that though. Whatever she was
thinking to dress like that! Without any pinch of shame, she placed them back
into the bra amidst excitement and sinister laughs by first hand eye witnesses.
And yes, she gave no damn. She still sat comfortably in the taxi till her
destination. Only, she remembered to put her hands to use the other times we
approached such humps.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="color: #37404e;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span class="textexposedshow" style="color: #37404e;">For this matter, I really hope future road
structures intended to slow down cars will in the least have consideration for
the female species. Society should do all it takes to secure women from any
kind of artificial discomfort. We already have enough to deal with naturally.
Thanks!</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6489952490326888466.post-75165908710687824662013-05-06T10:55:00.000-07:002013-05-06T10:55:36.158-07:00Only 'money' will tell.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none;">
You know when you are 'about' comfortable in life, you are content with
what you have or can afford. Eating rice and beans every day for lunch and
supper, holding one bag for three years and letting it go only when the damage
is obvious to the naked eye, no new attire in your closet or a pair of new
shoes (i have just taken my crafts for repair), keeping your hair for a month,
sparing your deodorant and cologne on the days you won’t be leaving home, among
others. And yet be content, somehow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2009/02/11/1229244/collageperfumes2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="116" src="http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2009/02/11/1229244/collageperfumes2.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN">Yes am somehow contented with my life that way, it’s the best I can momentarily
afford. But, at times I ask myself, is it anything close to contentment or is
it involuntarily living within my means? Only 'money' can explain that. I have
a friend who borrows money in order to buy classy clothes or plait hair
associated to certain celebs and that is something i have never quite
understood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN">When it comes to labels, I wonder, would I be fascinated with labels if I
had the money? Honestly, I don’t feel any of my nerves tweaking when someone
brags about how her bag has the Prada label. She even wipes the label using her
finger as if that would make it clearer for me to understand. Then the excitement
that follows her bragging; it's all a maze to me. I just dont <i>gerrit</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN">Another friend had to lure us to a restaurant rest room, so she could put
off her blouse and show us the label. I had never heard of it and neither can I
remember the name of the designer. I couldn't get the whole fuss. The reaction
of the other girls was somewhat far-fetched. 'Wow! How much? Where? When? How? Why?
With who?' And all the other 'W' questions you could think of. Or were they
just being girls, acting interested as if it mattered at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN">Truth is I can’t afford those labels at the moment. And I think i don’t
really care about them. I care about the price, quality and design combined. If
they meet my standards and preferences, then I have something I will adore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="http://i948.photobucket.com/albums/ad321/femaletrend/guide/how-to-identify-fake-gucci-bags.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://i948.photobucket.com/albums/ad321/femaletrend/guide/how-to-identify-fake-gucci-bags.jpg" width="188" /></a><span lang="EN">If a cologne has a nice scent and I can afford it, that I will buy. In my
S.1 a certain girl told the whole dormitory about how she had to save 80k to buy
a classy perfume. I couldn't imagine how possible that was. it was too much
money for me to even think about. Half of 80k wasn't even my total pocket money
for a term. I knew she was lying! That holiday, i made sure to ask my mum how
possibly true my friend was. Mum said that was a total lie. And I agreed with
her. It was only later that I figured she only said that so that I wouldn’t ask
for more pocket money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN">Never the less, am destined to be rich. And then will I understand or still
fail to understand people's fascination with labels. I will be able to afford
clothes, bags and shoes of any label. I will want to know if I can spend 1m on
a pair of flat shoes, 2m on a Prada bag, 600k on Gucci jeans and such sick
amounts on rather small things. I will also find out if i can actually plait
some Keri Hilson hairstyle even if the shape of my head was naturally excluded
from such stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN">Only 'money' will tell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855721114419117846noreply@blogger.com2